I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
