Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
