speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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