i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
