honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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