Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize