she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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