so that wasnt chicken after all
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
