and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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