I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
