marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
