and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
