No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
