can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My pussy is not your playground.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
