My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
A bitchslap is in order.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
