I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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