how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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