if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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