My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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