some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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