A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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