atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
