Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
