all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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