CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
