I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
