My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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