I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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