went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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