Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
