Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
