Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize