dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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