I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
