Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
