omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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