I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
