yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
