how can u be prego again
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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