you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
