its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
