...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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