I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
should my penis look like a turkey
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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