He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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