Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
