I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
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my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
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I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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