oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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