Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
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Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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