why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
