My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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