there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
