i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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