There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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