Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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