South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
