I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
