We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
