I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
handjob tips. give me some.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
