so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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