So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
