You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
