By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
