office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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