"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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