therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
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Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
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So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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