I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
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I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
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I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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