whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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