We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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